Parenting Through Grief for High-Functioning Women.
Grief does not wait until your calendar clears. It doesn’t pause for your deadlines, your team meetings, your children’s birthdays, or the countless small and large commitments of everyday life.
When my father passed away, I was navigating a new layer of motherhood, supporting two businesses, and trying to keep life moving while inside I felt like I was standing still. The grief was heavy, woven into my body like an anchor, and yet life around me demanded momentum.
Clients still needed me, bills still needed to be paid, children still needed love and attention.This is something I see all the time in high-functioning women. We keep showing up, keep saying “yes,” keep producing, even while we’re quietly breaking inside. On the outside, it looks like the level of your capability. On the inside, it feels like survival.Grief is not a sign of weakness. It’s love with nowhere to go. It’s the echo of the bond we cherished, the reminder that someone mattered deeply. Suppressing grief only suppresses love, and why would we want to suppress that?
When I was holding two businesses and raising children while grieving, I felt pressure to put on the smile and keep moving. Life demanded that I perform. But behind the smile was the weight of sorrow, and pretending it wasn’t there only made me feel more disconnected. Every decision, whether work-related or parenting-related, felt heavier. Even the smallest choice could feel monumental.For high-functioning career women, grief can be especially complicated.
We’ve been conditioned to hold it together, to present as capable no matter what. We’re praised for resilience, admired for juggling it all, and relied upon by teams and families alike. But in the swirl of responsibility, it’s easy to lose ourselves. We say yes to avoid conflict, let others steer our “ship,” and sacrifice our own happiness, silencing our needs just to keep life moving smoothly.
The cost?
A slow erosion of self. Exhaustion, disconnection from success, and the fading of joy. Decision fatigue becomes real, the mind constantly questioning, "Am I doing enough? Will anyone notice if I pause?" It’s in these moments that grief can feel suffocating, almost like it’s pulling you under while life goes on above the surface.Grief comes in waves. Some are small ripples; others crash with force. Instead of resisting, I’ve learned to honour them.
Here are practical ways to navigate those waves without drowning:
Sound: gentle humming or chanting helps release stored emotion.
The power of water: a hot shower can loosen tension and allow tears to flow.
Self-soothing touch: rocking, hugging yourself, or resting hands on your heart sends safety signals to your nervous system.
Breathwork: deep, slow breaths ground you.
Permission to pause: step away even for a minute, acknowledge the wave, let it pass.
Other techniques I’ve found helpful include journaling, brief meditation breaks during the day, and talking to a trusted friend or mentor. Even short moments of self-kindness help prevent grief from becoming paralyzing. The goal is not to rush the grief, but to allow it to ebb and flow naturally while still functioning in life’s responsibilities.
High-functioning women often feel pressure to keep it together. We’re used to smoothing challenges, keeping the ship steady while others push or pull it in different directions. But grief teaches us: showing your humanity can increase your strength, leadership, and authenticity.
Parenting through grief doesn’t mean perfection. It means showing your children, your team, and yourself that it’s okay to feel, to stumble, and to care deeply. You model resilience and authenticity in ways no achievement alone ever could. You show that love and sorrow can coexist - and that’s a profound life lesson for anyone watching you navigate it.Grief is not an interruption to life - it is part of life. It will move through your seasons of parenting, your career, your leadership. It will shape you, but it does not have to define you.
For high-functioning women holding it all together: give yourself permission to not always hold. Allow yourself to soften, to be supported, to feel. In honouring your grief, you are not showing weakness - you are showing the depth of your love, your humanity, and your heart. And that, more than anything, is the mark of true strength.
The key takeaway is to acknowledge both the weight of grief and your ongoing responsibilities. By integrating your sorrow with your everyday life, rather than hiding it, you create space for healing, self-compassion, and authentic presence in your work, leadership, and family life. You demonstrate that vulnerability, even in grief, is a form of quiet leadership.
Gayle xx
